RACHEL HARRISThe JOY Coach • Life Story Strategist
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Episode artwork: Who Told You That? — How to Catch the Silent Rules Running Your Life
Episode 16

Who Told You That? — How to Catch the Silent Rules Running Your Life

July 2, 2026·12:51

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In this episode, I get honest about the rules we’re all living by — the ones nobody ever said out loud, that we never agreed to, that somehow still run our whole lives.

I take you into my closet (the skirt-and-makeup rule I obeyed for thirty years without knowing it), into a bathroom in Houston where my dad re-caulked my tub before our move (and the completely wrong story my brain wrote about it), and into a practice I’m a little too excited about: writing your own personal commandments. 

If you’ve ever paused and thought wait — where did that rule even come from? — this one’s for you. We're taking back the pen.

In this episode:

•  Why the rules we never questioned (some written when we were five) quietly steer our whole adult lives

•  “Good girl ghosting in rulebook form” — the slow self-betrayal of obeying a code you never wrote

•  The two-part question that cracks a rule open: Who told me that? and Is this Jesus or judgment?

•  The Rule Breaker List — a 3-move practice you can do on the back of a receipt

•  A handful of my own personal commandments (own my magic, run toward the roar, everything is information, act with integrity)

•  The bathtub-caulk story: how my storyteller wrote the wrong script about my dad — and how I got to rewrite it on the spot

•  Your pinkie-toe step and this week’s permission slips


A few lines worth remembering:

•  “A rule that you never said out loud can still run your whole life. So name it and write a better one.”

•  “Same caulk, same muttering, completely different story. Only one of them was true.”

•  “You’re allowed to ask, who told me that?”

•  “I get to be soft and bright and feminine because I’m alive, not because I earned it.”

•  "Your story isn’t prophecy unless you keep living it.”

 Start here / work with me:
 → Free "Are You a Good Girl Ghost?" quiz: www.Rachelharrisonline.com/ggg-quiz
 → The Rebel Response Mini Kit — the in-the-moment words in your pocket: RachelHarrisOnline.com/kit
 → Book a Rebel Hour (1:1) with me: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me
 → Substack, Goodbye, Good Girl: www.rachelharrisonline.com/goodbyegoodgirl
→ Instagram: @RachelHarrisOnline 

- Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4 

Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel


Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: PXBUCSFZLQOBFCQB


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